Pictures Lie

Jared took an undergraduate art history course in photography. The basis of the class focused on the illusions photographs create especially in the area of family portraiture.  That idea left an impression and every time I see a seemingly beautiful happy family portrait I can’t help but think what lies and problems are hidden behind those smiles. What heartache and trails they have gone through or are yet to go through.

So it is with our family picture. No doubt we clean up well and give good face and if you’re a returning reader you’ll know I’m not about to give you the run around. We have issues. I mean how could we not? Jared and I have been married for 15 years. Trust me we have our problems. I’m not talking, he-won’t-take-out-the-trash-the-first-time-I-ask scenarios.  It’s deep-rooted; time hardened, skewed views, recurring arguments, one’s unwillingness to change, and easily offended stuff. It’s not as pretty as the freshly pressed dress on a child, carefully crafted props or the picturesque landscape in the background.  

But with that said, there has to be some safety in the family unit. Some escape from the bombardment of worldly pressures. Comfort in one another's companionship.  Surety in the time invested.  One must hold some hope to the idea or one would become as 2-dimensional as the image, finding no depth in what we have.

I know I shouldn’t have, but I’ve ruined your pleasure in cuteness. Its overrated!

Mr. Soulmate

Lets discuss this idea, shall we? Cause sometimes one needs perspective to work things through. The idea of this blog started when a friend recently remarked that in the department of love things really have worked out well for me. Actually the term used was “best.” In which I replied that I don't really believe things always workout for the "best". We do the best we can at any given moment. That means making decisions, following through, taking the consequences (good &bad) and perfecting ourselves as we go along in life. We can make any choice the right one by how we deal with it.

Goodness that sounds like some ideology sermon that most definitely would not come out of my cynical mouth! BUT the idea of my union to Jared being the best choice for me . . . I’d say it worked out well for him. Alright! Eyes rolling, twist my arm, no doubt we’re better TOGETHER. We’re clear on our expectations and while our responsibilities are distinct (Victorianishly so!) we’ve managed to navigate life well and accomplish huge things. Which brings me to the subject heading. Were we meant for one another? I’m talking pre-destined? Not an original idea, but I’m surprised at the amount of people who truly believe in fate or “the one.” Lets examine the evidence:

• My father gained and lost employment in just the perfect location and time frame in which I would meet Jared. No earlier and no later.
• I was not fully committed to the whole church life in early youth. This move gave me new church leaders and a best friend that made me want to be think ahead spiritually, make some changes, and set goals. I was already preparing and thinking about marriage at that young age. (Thinking about it, mind you, with someone else in mind. That’s what girls do best; plan ahead every possible scenario and wardrobe change!)
• Jared then received and went on his mission at a coinciding time and place to associate with me. (Independent of his own personal timing and journey.)
• My instant recognition of my place as his wife was up to then the most spiritual confirmation I had received.

Was this weave of lives orchestrated by chance?

Why would I wrestle with this? I had the most amazing Sunday school teacher who said, God takes advantage of what we give him to work with. True dat! We still make choices deliberately of our own accord. My choices up to then, as Jared’s were to his, were independent of destiny. Did God then arrange us? Hmmm, I believe He saw an opportunity for two people who needed each other to make something infinitely more beautiful than they could on their own-a push.